Life Increasing Light
Dear friends; a short time ago, on 23. 1. 2005, at 22.50 hours, the raging waves of a great sea sank into a deep silence. The greatest fortress of humility, tolerance, modesty and modesty was destroyed. A very blessed mirror showing the values that make human beings human was broken. A beautiful person who devoted every breath he took in his ninety-six years of life to the Truth, to the truth, to the Prophet Mevlânâ and to service in this way, a symbol of respect for human beings and thought, has left a love song that will never cease in this mortal world.
Today, 30.1.2005, a long seven days have come and gone. The words I have been hearing from my grandfather Şefik Can for years, "Everything is mortal, everything is illusory, we are shadow beings" have penetrated my bones in recent days. At this moment in my life, I am in deep emotions and thoughts at the point where joy and sadness meet, next to the empty bed of our grandfather Şefik Can, the most sacred shadow being of my life, whom I had the honor of meeting with the grace of Allah. Not many days ago, at the same time, there was a great excitement and bustle in this room.
On 14.11.2004, on the morning of the first day of Eid al-Fitr at the home of his spiritual children in Zurich, our beloved grandfather suddenly fell ill due to a blockage in a cerebral artery. After the first medical interventions in Switzerland, with the joint decision of the doctors in Turkey and Switzerland, he was brought to his poor house in Şaşkınbakkal, Istanbul, where his treatment continued. Today, 23.1.2005 was the fourth day of Eid al-Adha and our grandfather's condition had unexpectedly worsened in the morning. Towards the end of the day in the evening, Dr. Faruk Öndağ and Meltem Öndağ, the Intensive Care Nurse, were at the bedside of our grandfather in great haste, trying to do everything that could be done. When the medically necessary interventions were finished, we all felt a great relief and started to rejoice. The great man would now feel better, and perhaps his condition would get even better from now on. I always kept a camera and a camera in our grandfather's room, and from time to time I was shooting and taking photos. With the peace of mind of being a little relieved, I took the camera in my hand and took a short shot to document that happy moment. Doctor Faruk Bey said; "Sister, these situations may not be what they seem from time to time. A patient you thought you had lost can suddenly come back, and a patient you thought was back can suddenly leave." But I thought that our grandfather was back among us because he had spent that day very troubled. He seemed to have relaxed a little with the interventions. Who knows, maybe the interventions made by the arrival of our doctor had psychologically relieved the fakir. A few minutes later, a hidden force began to direct us all without us even realizing it.
With a sudden decision, I put Kani Karaca's "Nay-i Osman Dede's Uşşak Mevlevi" âyin into the cassette player standing at the bedside of our grandfather. The sounds and rhythms of the âyin, which played softly, were like a magical sound coming from beyond, which we felt in the depths of our souls, and created indescribable ecstasy in us. In an instant, the atmosphere of the room changed, there was a deep silence. An incredible spiritual state manifested. At my grandfather's bedside were myself, Dr. Faruk Bey, his wife Meltem Hanım, who was an intensive care nurse, and Deniz Hanım, one of the spiritual children of our grandfather. Ms. Deniz said, "Sister Nur, let's offer our grandfather some Zamzam in addition to this beauty." I took the Zamzam in my hand, I was wetting our grandfather's lips, at some point I noticed that my grandfather was breathing as if he was sighing. I turned to Dr. Faruk Bey and said, "Do you notice it too, my grandfather is breathing like a small child sighing after crying." While I was saying this to Faruk Bey, Ms. Deniz said with great excitement, "Nur sister, tears are coming from our grandfather's eyes." When I looked at our grandfather, the crown of our crown, the sultan of our hearts, I realized that a drop of tear was falling from the corner of his eye to his rosy countenance. I don't know how to describe that one drop of tear, how to draw the mark it left on my heart. Even if I had hundreds of years to live, it is impossible for me to forget the way that one drop of tear flowed down his blessed cheeks. It was as if the sum total of his ninety-six years of auspicious and fruitful life spent in divine love was hidden in that one tear. We were not yet aware of anything. I had felt that my grandfather was in a state of great comfort and peace, but I had accepted it as the comfort and peace given by the medical interventions. However, in those minutes, three tears of joy were flowing from the eyes of our grandfather, who knew very well that the time of vuslat had come. He was in a state of indescribable peace, happiness and contentment. He was experiencing such spiritual joy that we all shared this joy uncontrollably. Without realizing what was happening, we were just experiencing a unique state of divine intoxication and ecstasy. It was as if suddenly the doors of the Ka'bah of the heart were opened and the whole heaven and earth stood in salutation. Everything that existed in the room came to life and expressed its thanks to that great person. With the spiritual joy and peace of mind that comes from being aware of all this, our grandfather took a deep breath as if silently saying, "Oh thank God";
A calm voice from Dr. Faruk Bey; "Sister, we are seeing our grandfather off." Just when we thought all the troubles were over, our grandfather was relieved, maybe this saintly guest would be with us for a few more days; it was time to send our grandfather, who said "I have more friends underground than above ground", to his saintly friends whom he always remembered with great respect and longing. It was as if everything had happened in an instant, we were not aware of it, but right after the ritual began to play, such a different spiritual state manifested in the room that I am unable to describe it. With those three drops of tears, it was as if the doors of the sky had opened. The Huris from Paradise filled the room, and all the holy angels stopped in prayer. With the softly playing uşşak âyin, unknown squares were opened and invisible semâ's were performed. In those moments, I could not understand what was happening, I just wanted this divine attraction to continue. Therefore, I often asked Dr. Faruk Bey, "Okay? Is it all over?" It was as if when my grandfather left, that divine attraction that I had never experienced in my entire life, perhaps never to be experienced again, would end in those moments when spiritual feelings reached their peak. All this happened in ten minutes. At that moment, our grandfather's wife Sabahat Hanım, who was in another room, came in. As soon as she realized that our grandfather had reached vuslata, she started crying loudly. There was such a great spiritual euphoria in the room that could not be described with the words of the world, but it was never matched by the sound of crying. I took our mother Sabahat outside and closed the door to the room where our grandfather was. I was so moved by the spiritual state and the invisible joy that I did a few minutes of whirling dervishes in a sudden temptation, let alone crying. The Shab-i Arûs, which I had read in books for years, which I had experienced every year on December seventeen as ayne'l-yakîn, I was now experiencing as hakke'l-yakîn at the bedside of our grandfather. I bowed respectfully in front of this high personage who had stripped off his skin clothes. I repeatedly blessed and smelled his blessed hands, which reflected the smell of Joseph's shirt.
On behalf of all those who had the honor of knowing this sublime human being who was a lover of Hz. Mevlana, I once again bowed respectfully in front of him. I bowed again to his hands, which held the pen day and night, day and night, without stopping and resting for years, and opened many secret doors for us, and I made my blessings and made my peace with him. Our grandfather, who made a feast of the heart in the land of truth by receiving the good news that he would meet his beloved in the morning hours of the first day of Ramadan feast, on the last night of the Feast of Sacrifice; "This life was a sacrifice to you, what would I do with a ram sacrifice", he had reached vuslata with his beloved, whom he had been running after all his life, for whom he had abandoned everything and became nothing. We had such a peaceful, happy and joyful reunion that neither a feast nor a wedding could be so joyful and peaceful. At that moment, I didn't feel any sadness, I didn't cry, or rather, I couldn't cry. But a few days later, at the same time, when I was trying to write these lines to you with vivid dreams beside our grandfather's empty bed, lightning flashed in my heart and rain poured down from my eyes.
In my previous writings, I always referred to my grandfather Şefik Can as my teacher. When I had the honor of being together, I never called my grandfather as my teacher except in my writings. From the first day I got to know them, the address of my grandfather has always been familiar to my soul. Right now everything is so pure and natural that nothing but the word grandfather comes to my heart and tongue, please forgive the poor man.
Şefik Can was very sensitive. He was very hesitant to disturb people in any way whatsoever. In order to make sure that the friends of our grandfather, whom he valued so much, spent the night comfortably and were not disturbed, I called only a few very close friends of our grandfather and conveyed the news of his farewell. I spent that blessed night by our grandfather's side, watching his blessed countenance, kissing and smelling his hands. The next day at 14.30, I had to prepare our grandfather, who was lying quietly and calmly, for his last journey. It was a cold winter day, they had turned off the heating in the room since the evening and opened the windows. When I touched his blessed body, while I was imagining an icy skin, maybe it is hard to believe, but his body was still warm. I touched his hands and feet, expecting them to be solid, but they were no different from the body of a normal person. It was soft and could move. There was absolutely no sign of a person walking to the Truth in their blessed bodies. One of our relatives, who shared the same feelings, said to me at one point, "Let there be no mistake. It is as if our grandfather's chest is moving, he is breathing." It was as if his holy body was just in a deep sleep. One day later, the funeral prayer was to be held at the Şişli Mosque following the noon prayer. I wanted our grandfather to be our guest at home on that day. We talked to his doctor and he said it was not appropriate for him to stay at home for two days. During the day, they would come around 16 o'clock, pick him up from home and take him to the funeral home in Zincirlikuyu Cemetery. Our grandfather's modest house was overflowing with his loved ones. Time was up, our grandfather was about to go on his last journey.
In order to take away this precious friend who was a lover of Hz, Mevlana, his loved ones came with prayers and supplications, and they were going to take him away. They took him from where he was lying with takbirs, the lid of the coffin was opened, my grandfather, who was hidden in the body chest, was entering a wooden chest this time. I laid him down with my hands, I covered his green blanket with great care on my heart throne. Everyone wanted to shoulder that holy person, to carry him on their backs. I shouldered the coffin and carried it to the hearse like a very rare bouquet of roses to be presented to the beloved. As I was going down the street stairs, I felt the slight weight of my grandfather. It was as if a bird from heaven had landed on my shoulder. It is impossible to describe my joy, happiness and bliss at that moment. As the car left the gate, I prayed to my grandfather with the joy and peace of the bird of paradise landing on my shoulder. That day was the first night alone.
The next day we were going to Zincirli Kuyu Cemetery. Early in the morning, at the request of the commander of the Kuleli Military High School, a military vehicle with a female first lieutenant and our commander picked us up and took us to the funeral home in Zincirlikuyu Cemetery. It was very early, no one had arrived yet. Together with First Lieutenant Burçin Hanım and a few friends of our hearts, we arrived at the place where our grandfather was buried. They put my grandfather, who could not stand the cold weather and was very cold, in a refrigerator. I don't know what I thought in front of the lifeless bodies lying in rows and rows of drawers, I don't know how much time passed, I don't know what happened. Finally the drawer was opened, they took out our grandfather, I let out a deep "oh", When we left the house, they wrapped our grandfather in a blanket, he was still on the blanket. I knew that neither the cold nor the warmth of the killimi food could reach him anymore. But still, I felt a psychological relief. They took our grandfather into a room to wash and clean him. A few of us ladies were lined up against the opposite wall, making niyaz (supplication) and inwardly chanting the holy Qur'an. In front of the door of the room where our grandfather was being washed, a few of our close male friends were doing the same task. At one moment I was mesmerized by the sound of dhikr, which I had never heard before, like a humming sound coming from the sky. I thought that these deep dhikr sounds were coming from our male friends who were silently trying to dhikr like us against the wall. In order to be closer to those sounds, I quietly said to the ladies next to me, "Let's not break the unity, let's go across." But when I went to our male friends at the gate, I realized that there was no sound coming from them and they were silently chanting inside. I come from a family of dervishes, so I grew up in dervish lodges and dervish lodges. I have seen various dhikr assemblies since I was very young, but I have never seen or heard anywhere the harmony and beauty of the dhikr sounds that I heard at that moment. The sounds were coming down like rain from the sky, as if thousands of sounds were merging into a single beat. For a moment I wanted to say to those who were with me, "Do you also hear these sounds?" When I looked around, I saw that everyone had their eyes closed and were in prayer, so I kept silent. The sounds I heard were not the sounds of worldly dhikr, it was a spiritual joy that I think can only be heard and experienced, I am incapable of describing it.
With such divine enthusiasm, while we were waiting for our grandfather to be washed and cleansed, the secret door opened unexpectedly. I was suddenly excited and startled. They invited a few of our grandfather's very close friends who were in prayer in front of the door. We all entered with decorum and lined up around our grandfather. I immediately stood by his bedside and gazed with great admiration at the rosy countenance of this high personality who devoted every breath he took to the Truth and love. Since that day, I have been wandering around with no tongue, no lips, no letters, no words, just saying "I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty". I don't know how long the intoxication of the wine I drank from the chalice of divine beauty will continue, how long this fakir will wander around in a state of ecstasy with the intoxication of that beauty, saying, "I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty, I saw a beauty," but I do not know how long this intoxication will continue, but my request to our Prophet is that this intoxication never ends, that the beauty of that beauty never leaves my eyes and my heart.
For years, I have been living with our grandfather Şefik Can in their humble, but a huge depth of wisdom, in their poor house, as they call it, and I have been living with that blessed person and trying to serve him humbly. Our nights were one, our days were one, our hearts were one. It was as if the breath we took was one. So much so that I thought I knew our grandfather very well with the closeness of being with them for years. Of course, it was not so easy to reach his meaning, which was an infinite depth, to pass through his form and to know his sîret.
As Allah hides every beloved servant in some way, He had hidden our grandfather Şefik Can with a veil of humility and modesty. But in spite of everything, I thought I was at least familiar with the image of my grandfather, until I saw his blessed image in his shroud, which was like a veil of white light. The moment I saw his blessed figure in white, I could only say involuntarily, "I swear by Allah, I swear by the Qur'an, I swear by the Prophet Mevlana, I have never seen such a beauty." I thought I had seen that blessed person, that I knew him very well, that I even valued and loved him very much. At least I would recognize him if I saw him on the street. It turned out that I had never seen my grandfather, never known him. I never loved him. O Lord, what divine beauty. Although I have been with him for years, I only think that "I was able to see my grandfather at that moment, and only after that moment did I give my heart to that blessed person." The rest was just a big delusion, an empty dream.
I couldn't get enough of looking at the appearance of this holy man whom I was seeing for the first time, I couldn't believe my eyes at what I saw. He looked as if he was a young man in white light, and each of the occasional whites of his eyebrows reflected the perfection of his soul. Allah Almighty had completely lifted the veil of my grandfather, which He had covered with the veil of humility, tolerance and modesty. I was astonished by the richness of his beauty, soul and virtue. I touched his eyebrows with my fingertips as if I was caressing something from beyond, as if each strand was a spiritual sign. He had passed away two days ago, he had spent a whole night in the refrigerator, and believe me, his skin was as warm as that of a living person. Those who knew my grandfather closely know that his cheeks were red red. His cheeks were still red red. It was as if an invisible hand had decorated them with an unknown brush. She was like a carefully prepared bride. My astonishment and amazement turned into sadness, and I was lamenting my days of deception and the years I had lost, feeling that this poor person had never seen you, never known you.
The lovers of the Truth who die aware of the truth melt like sugar in front of the beloved.
Those who drink âb-ı life in the realm of the soul, in the council of elest, die in a different way.
Those who are aware of the beyond, those who are gathered in the love of Hakk, do not die like the crowd of people.
Lovers of the Truth have surpassed even the angels in grace. Therefore, dying like other people is far from them.
Do you think that lions die outside the door like dogs?
If the lovers of Hakk die on the path of love, the sultan of life will welcome them at the door.
Those who liken their morals to Mustafa's morals will die like Abu Bakr, Umar, Ali
In fact, there is no death for the lovers of Hakk. They neither die nor perish. I have said these words in order that if they die, they may die like this. [Divan-i Kebir, 972]
Mrs. Bahar, who came from Switzerland to attend the funeral, summarized that exceptional day full of emotions and the same moments we experienced together as follows "It was my first time attending a funeral. I didn't know much about it. They were going to wash my grandfather and I was worried. I wonder who was in the washing room? Who knows how they would behave while washing that blessed person, my dear grandfather? Maybe they would touch his body disrespectfully, I was in great anxiety. They took my grandfather inside to wash him. Oh my God, there were such beautiful sounds of dhikr coming from inside that I suddenly felt relieved, thank God they were washing my grandfather with dhikr, and I realized that there were people who were in a state inside and they were treating my grandfather with respect and decency. I lost my previous worries. There was a harmony of dhikr that I had never heard in my life. I was almost ecstatic with the effect of the dhikr sounds coming from inside. I was astonished. I had never thought that Mr. Hüseyin Erek, the imam of the Şişli Mosque, could make such a beautiful dhikr. I wonder who else was inside? They were all men of the heart. After a while the door opened and they took us to my grandfather. I was surprised, there was no one inside. There were only a few people. But there were still sounds of dhikr. For a moment I thought I was wrong, that the sounds were coming from the next room. I was astonished by what I heard and saw. After what I experienced that day, I realized how beautiful the last journey and the funeral washing of a perfect person can be. I have no fear or worry about it." .
It is not possible for me to express such a high personality, such a perfect person, such a person of knowledge and wisdom, who was perfected with the ethics of the Qur'an like our grandfather Şefik Can, who burned with the love of Hz. Mevlânâ and became "nothing", and who was a depth of knowledge and wisdom, with the words of the world, and to fit the divine light and the richness of the heart in him into lines. Volumes of books could be written for each and every spiritual virtue that Allah Almighty has bestowed upon them. In this mortal realm, if I have any peace, happiness, pride and pride, it is only because I have known such a sublime personality as Şefik Can, and have been at his door with the grace of Allah Almighty. I say, "Sir, you were my first and you are my last"; I bow to his soul with respect. I ask Allah Almighty to be worthy of that high personality.
In order not to misunderstand the issue and not to disturb the soul of that blessed person, I consider it my duty to present my feelings and thoughts on this issue to you here, in order not to misunderstand the issue and not to disturb the soul of that blessed person, regarding the will of our grandfather Şefik Can, which was published in a newspaper, which I do not want to put into words, and which I consider it as abandonment to speak on behalf of myself on this issue.
As the humble addressee of the will in question; I do not see in myself the right to spiritually receive and own these relics, which are very valuable sacred spiritual relics passed down from our grandfather Tahirü'l-Mevlevî and Şefik Can, who are two great personalities who grew up in our century, and who carry the honor of being a "Mesnevihan" and a "Mevlevi Sheikh", which can only be handed over to the master. I think that it is not possible for a humble ignorant person like me to fill the void left by two great personalities like Tahirü'l-Mevlevî and Şefik Can, who were themselves a living Mesnevi book, as I have always repeated, who knew the secret, essence and meaning of the Mesnevi, and that it is not possible to fill this place in the century we live in.
As for having a "Destâr", which is one of the spiritual relics, it means having the honor of being a sheikh; in this regard, for me, only what our Hz. Pir says is important. Hz. Mevlana summarizes in the couplets as follows: Who is called a shaykh? "O youth, the one who has no burden of sin is a sheikh! If even a single hair of the attributes of humanity remains in a person, that person does not belong to the heavens. In other words, he is not one of the special servants of Allah; he is a random person." [Mesnevi Ş. Can vol. 3, 1783-1798.], he said that being a sheikh is not that easy, he explained at length the qualities that a sheikh should have and said, "For this reason, when a person has no existence, no self, he has become a pir, he has become a sheikh." The important thing is to be in accordance with the qualities mentioned by our Prophet. Whoever has these superior qualities is the sheikh. As you can see, it is not possible for me to fit this description. In any case, as long as the world lasts, even if I had a lifetime, I would still not have these qualities. Therefore, I cannot and should not make such a claim.
I have never heard anything other than "I am nothing" from the mouth of my grandfather Şefik Can, who was a scholar, a word, a saint, a great depth of wisdom. That great man never accepted that he had a meaning in himself, and "except in very special and exceptional cases" he did not go out to the squares wearing his destâr-ı şerif on his head. I, who humbly try to follow in the same footsteps, cannot be expected to exhibit a different behavior. Those who know Fakiri know that I am an ordinary, humble person who wants to live quietly, without being noticed, without any specialties.
Our grandfather Şefik Can, who knew all this very closely, could of course hide his sacred relics with very high spiritual value in the ground with him. With the maturity of being a perfect person, I think that he found it more appropriate to hide his relics of very high spiritual value in the "heart" of this humble servant, who was also created from the earth, rather than hiding them in the black earth, and that this is a very fine matter of vision, intuition and understanding that not everyone is blessed with.
There is only one thing that I will accept as a spiritual trust from my grandfather Şefik Can and try to embrace; with the love of Hz. Pir; far from glory, fame, showiness, with humility and modesty, trying to be useful to people only for the sake of Allah, if I have a morsel of bread, to share it with someone without any discrimination, for the sake of a great blessed friend like Şefik Can, may Allah Almighty grant this humble servant these things, and make him worthy of such a service.
With my deepest respect and esteem.
*This article was published in the 4th issue of KEŞKÜL Magazine.
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